Testimonials | Mattdfox.com

Testimonials

Testimonials

I'm incredibly privileged to do this work. To help people on their journey to reconnect with their true nature, their true selves.

To be a companion to help them move away from periods of enormous self-doubt, anxiety, destructive patterns and feelings of powerlessness. 

Here are just a few examples of what some previous clients have said about their work with me, which I'm sharing here with their permission (some names changed at the client's request.)

Nicola

UK

I felt like my past, my childhood would haunt me forever. That I would always repeat the destructive patterns I had brought into adulthood with me. That I would always be drawn to relationships with people who were abusive and controlling . I had enough of living my life that way. I had had enough of the anxiety , walking on eggshells, the panic, fear, deep sadness and anger. The rollercoaster of emotions… I wanted to get off!

 

I felt from early on in my work with Matt, that he not only had the professional qualifications, but that he truly understood my pain. I felt at ease with him. He has walked alongside me every step of the way, with endless kindness and patience. For the first time in my life I felt safe to be truly honest about my painful and traumatic childhood. Through our work together I have gained so much self awareness. I was saddened at first to realise how strong and unkind my inner critic was . How I didn’t know what my needs were or how to get them met. How I had spent my entire life people pleasing and unable to set effective boundaries. How I had allowed that cycle of abuse to continue into my adult life. I knew I couldn’t continue to live my life that way.

 

Now I feel completely different from the person who walked through that door.  I feel lighter, so much more alive. I have a sense of inner peace and calm that I never thought was possible. Of course there are bumps in the road. There are times when my mood is low or I get caught up in the painful thought storms. But I know now that it will all pass. That I will find my balance and return to my place of calm and peace. I know I am strong and I know I have choices. I choose who I allow to be in my life. I choose which thoughts to follow. I’m more comfortable in setting boundaries and sticking to them. I challenge my inner critic and replace the unkind words, with the kindness I would show to a friend or a child. I challenge the people pleasing and think more carefully  what I’m willing and able to give. I know now that everything I need to take care of me I have inside of me. I have the wisdom and resources . I don’t need to look externally.

 

The list of benefits of my work with Matt are endless. I’m so glad I choose to take this route . It’s been truly life changing. I feel excited and free to explore the next chapter of my life.

I felt like my past, my childhood would haunt me forever. That I would always repeat the destructive patterns I had brought into adulthood with me. That I would always be drawn to relationships with people who were abusive and controlling . I had enough of living my life that way. I had had enough of the anxiety , walking on eggshells, the panic, fear, deep sadness and anger. The rollercoaster of emotions… I wanted to get off!

 

I felt from early on in my work with Matt, that he not only had the professional qualifications, but that he truly understood my pain. I felt at ease with him. He has walked alongside me every step of the way, with endless kindness and patience. For the first time in my life I felt safe to be truly honest about my painful and traumatic childhood. Through our work together I have gained so much self awareness. I was saddened at first to realise how strong and unkind my inner critic was . How I didn’t know what my needs were or how to get them met. How I had spent my entire life people pleasing and unable to set effective boundaries. How I had allowed that cycle of abuse to continue into my adult life. I knew I couldn’t continue to live my life that way.

 

Now I feel completely different from the person who walked through that door.  I feel lighter, so much more alive. I have a sense of inner peace and calm that I never thought was possible. Of course there are bumps in the road. There are times when my mood is low or I get caught up in the painful thought storms. But I know now that it will all pass. That I will find my balance and return to my place of calm and peace. I know I am strong and I know I have choices. I choose who I allow to be in my life. I choose which thoughts to follow. I’m more comfortable in setting boundaries and sticking to them. I challenge my inner critic and replace the unkind words, with the kindness I would show to a friend or a child. I challenge the people pleasing and think more carefully  what I’m willing and able to give. I know now that everything I need to take care of me I have inside of me. I have the wisdom and resources . I don’t need to look externally.

 

The list of benefits of my work with Matt are endless. I’m so glad I choose to take this route . It’s been truly life changing. I feel excited and free to explore the next chapter of my life.

F.

UK

This testimonial has been a long time coming! I have written and rewritten this so many times in my head, waited for the right time/ some peace and quiet to sit down and really give Matt the credit he deserves. However I have realised that the time will never be perfect and my testimonial does not need to be perfect either. All that I really need to say is Thank you! Working with you shortly before and directly after my mother passed away was life changing, you turned my perception of myself upside down and gave me power; power to love myself; power to forgive; power to fulfil my potential and be myself. I can't ever thank you enough. I draw on your words and wisdom daily, you have set me on a journey of self love and discovery. All the growing I have done started with your words and insight x

N.

Spain

It has taken me a while to write this because I wanted to do justice to the perfect experience I had over 9 sessions with Matt. 


Perfection I realise is not the concept I believed it to be. An arrival point that I haven't reached yet.  That is something I learned with Matt. It is more about realising that who I am and what I have to say is perfectly OK. Already. Whatever it is. We are all perfect at our core. 


So here goes.  I was in a state of trauma, and quite some self pity about where I found myself when I finally plucked up courage to contact Matt and ask for help. I was being victimised, and still am at times, but I was blaming my victim state of feeling on the external, on the victimiser. It was being done to me, so of course I would be feeling wounded. I knew the theory - somewhere just outside of my grasp in the deep recesses of my mind. That is, that I am only a victim of my feeling of woundedness if I allow myself to be. But how to stop allowing?  It was real wasn't it?  It was happening. 


During each session, I shed tears, unloaded all the pain and misery. Matt listened, was supportive, kind. He heard me. I felt heard. I started to feel less shame.  I felt his goodness and good intent.  This was therapy at one level that I was familiar with. But something more was happening too.  He guided me into myself and away from the external being the problem. That I feel x because of y.  Each time towards the end of the session, he would remind me that I don't need to make that connection.  Y exists full stop.  But as I am perfectly OK being who I am, it is only in my "not OK" feelings that I want to stop Y being Y.  


In simple terms, I am perfectly OK and it's only the bridge I offer Y to walk over and tell me I'm not, that I don't need to offer.


It's a drawbridge I can pull up, or more aptly perhaps only lower to let good things in.  When I stop, slow down, breathe, feel my OK ness, the drawbridge is inaccessible to Y. I don't need to explain, tell Y why I'm OK. I just know I am and it doesn't make purchase any more. 


Matt describes this as our thoughts which create a story. And the story dictates our feelings.  If Y is mean - does or says mean things, that is valid, real.  But it doesn't say anything about who I am.  All it says, is that y is saying mean things and I feel hurt. 


It is my thought, borne from my sense of not OK ness that says "maybe y is right, maybe I am what he says". Then I feel panic, shame, compelled to persuade him why he's wrong. My drawbridge is already down, inviting in a hostile. 


Drawbridges suggest castle, fortress, impermeable.  I worry about walls. I prefer boundaries. But four strong walls with an entrance for those I choose to let in are boundaries not barriers, because there is an entrance. 


In my OK ness, I see Y from a safe distance - the other side of the drawbridge within my four walls of perfect still calmness. I know it's his misery projected onto me.  It doesn't touch me. I just feel sorry for him. 


So in a nutshell, slowly, organically Matt illuminated my ok ness, shone a light on it until I felt quiet enough from the noise to feel it again. 


The noise - my inner tsunami comes and goes.  What is different is my belief in its power to impact me. What I think, what old internal messages tell me, conveyed by those who want to wound, is not who I am. Because I am perfectly OK. 


One last thing to say. I've had therapy over the years. It had its place and helped. But it usually set up the dynamic of teacher/pupil. I learned little about the therapist I was pouring my heart out to. It also set up in me that I was broken and flawed, and needed to unload pain to heal. There was an arrival place and I wasn't there yet. 


With Matt this dynamic wasn't there. He shared his struggle, his journey. He was a human being too. There was no arrival point from flawed to healed. Because Matt's message is that feeling  "flawed" is just one of the many thoughts/ beliefs we hold that aren't who we are. So nowhere to arrive to as we are already there!  We are already healed in our perfect OK ness. 


I didn't have to impress, pass a test, be a good recovering person. I could just be me. The connection I felt with myself through Matt was exciting, enriching and illuminating. It is the intimacy I have always craved. I was just looking in the wrong place. 


Footnote

Victimisers exist. My experience is/was real and valid.  Matt reassured me of that. The only difference is that I don't need to accept the gun being pointed at me and point it at myself. 

Mandy

UK

Before working with Matt, I assumed this was just how my life was going to be and I'd just have to deal with living under a cloud of lack of confidence, anxiety and depression but after seeing these big improvements I now know that is not the case.
I'm glad I didn't give up before I found Matt. 

Amber

Spain

I just wanted to say though thank you for all your help this year, its been a real journey  and our sessions have been a great help in helping me untangle my thoughts and to understand more about narcissistic abuse. It was a real comfort to talk to someone who immediately understood and identified with the feelings and behaviour I was talking about. This was a real comfort as it's very easy to think you are being 'too sensitive' or feel you are going mad. I feel our sessions have given me the clarity and confidence I was hoping for and has shown me the path I need to walk towards healing, I now just need to walk it. Thanks for your help on the journey Matt.

Carmel

UK

When I first started working with Matt I found it difficult to see where I was in my life.  I am disabled and had received pretty unhelpful reactions from various positions  I had applied for. I was very depressed, and didn't know what to do.  

Matt determinedly helped me focus on what I actually valued in my life -  that is how I could actually appreciate how I was valued.

The Three Principles have been of great help to me because they have flagged up how I can get completely 'off target'  and negate what are positive thoughts I have.

James

UK

Working with Matt got me from a place of apologising to the world for who I was to feeling alive and on fire and free. Our conversations have challenged me to grow, to identify my needs and to actualise them. I no longer feel alone or relentlessly self-punishing. In fact I no longer punish myself at all. I accept and embrace myself, knowing that I am a beautiful person who can channel unique creativity, that I can love and be loved in abundance. I am making changes in my love life, in my professional ambitions and creative projects that have arisen from my time with Matt. I am on a path where I am increasingly, unashamedly me. 

Stephanie 

UK

8 Week Break Through Course & One Hour Video Coaching Session

I have recently availed of this with Matt who I found to be very kind and gentle and I felt an instant rapport with, because of his own story.  I think it definitely helped me knowing that someone had been through similar circumstances to me, who understands your story better.


Even in the short 8 weeks and the one hour video coaching session, he changed my way of thinking totally. For years I have always been thinking of the past and that is definitely what has been holding me back. Yes I'm depressed and suffer from anxiety, have aches and pains and have had myself in a rut for 10 years. I set my boundaries, which have continually been broken. You must for your own sake and family's start thinking of the future. Something just clicked with me and that's what I intend to do. I'm not saying it's going to be easy and that I'm going to just get up and all is going to be alright but I HAVE started my journey and I intend to move forward leaving the negativity behind me.  Thank you Matt.

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Georgia 

Belgium

Matt is very well-versed in the narcissistic personality disorder and the far-reaching consequences the families of those afflicted with NPD incur. This makes him a valuable asset to anyone dealing with such an individual in their environment. Matt has provided great support and guidance during a stressful period of my life. He has helped me clarify my feelings, which in turn was essential in making more effective decisions. Bottom line, I wholeheartedly recommend Matt to anyone who wishes to become a more rounded individual and cope better with challenging circumstances. 

To make an appointment for a free non-obligation chat,
please call/text 07443 640556, or you’re welcome to email me.