Category Archives for vulnerability
14 signs that you are numbing out
Something flips inside you. It’s like a switch going. The system is going down. You start to numb out. It’s difficult to think clearly. Maybe your hearing goes a bit fuzzy. You feel like you’re here, but also not. The trigger? Maybe a moment of conflict with a parent, colleague or partner. Maybe someone’s behaviour […]
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Stay close or stay away: the impossible dilemma for children of narcissistic parents
Part of you knows this relationship hurts. The little (or not so little) put downs, the never quite meeting expectations, the feeling guilty for the ‘shoulds’ that you didn’t do. And yet the bonds feel unbreakable. The emotional cost of cutting free feels too high: rejection, isolation, shame. Perhaps a part of you feels powerless […]
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A letter to the person who feels all hope is lost
As the shadows grow longer, you exhale deeply. Night is coming, and it feels both a shelter and an interminable hole. Wherever you turn in your life, the exits seem blocked, the options for freedom or choice dwindling or limited. The drum beat and drone of a persistent hopelessness play out their mournful rhythm. Life […]
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Why is my relationship with mum or dad so difficult?
Does this ring a bell? You love your mum or dad, but it’s also tough being their child. Somehow, what you do never seems good enough. If you disagree or stand up to them, there’s an almighty row so you end up keeping quiet or just avoiding them for a peaceful life. Or maybe, they […]
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Is this the hardest thing you could ever do?
A man staggers out of the shop holding more than his arms can cope with. He moves towards his car and stumbles; a cascade of vegetable tumbles on to the ground and rolls away. ‘You stupid idiot’, he mutters to himself. A mother carries her screaming child out of the coffee shop. 10 minutes later […]
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When grief won’t go away: 5 steps to start healing cumulative losses
On the surface, Lianne* feels she should be satisfied with her life. She has many of the things she thought she aspired to: a warm supportive circle of friends, a loving partner, a new job which keeps her stimulated and rewarded. But all isn’t well. She finds herself getting angry at small things, lacking motivation […]
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The trouble with New Year’s resolutions
So where do you stand on new year’s resolutions? Is it a ritual you follow assidiously each year or something you try and struggle with? Or is it just something you laugh off as an irrelevance. What I find interesting about resolutions is the idea that something has to change. The assumption with a […]
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25 Ways to Survive Christmas (and family occasions)
As Christmas approaches, you may be relishing the prospect of time off and being with your family. But for many people, Christmas and family occasions can evoke dread, anxiety and depression. It’s less ho ho ho and more no no no. For some it’s the feeling of reverting to childhood roles where, whatever your age […]
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I’m worried if I show my vulnerability, people will take advantage
Celine* is always smiling. It’s a disarming smile, because it says I’m friendly. But it also says don’t get too close. It’s a well practised look which has served her well until now. It keeps the world at bay, using charm and apparent warmth. Ask her friends and colleagues what she’s really about, they might […]
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