Category Archives for "relationships"

I’m worried if I show my vulnerability, people will take advantage

Celine* is always smiling. It’s a disarming smile, because it says I’m friendly. But it also says don’t get too close. It’s a well practised look which has served her well until now. It keeps the world at bay, using charm and apparent warmth. Ask her friends and colleagues what she’s really about, they might […]

How to stop rescuing a moody parent or partner

You’re out having a meal together. So far the evening has gone well. But then something gets said. The atmosphere chills and your partner goes silent on you. It’s a familiar experience by now in your relationship.  The thing is, you’ve tried hard in the past to get him / her back to be present […]

How to beat the holiday blues

  You’re a few days into your holiday. This break has been long awaited. The thought of getting away from work / home life has been in your mind for weeks, if not months. So here you are. It should all be hunky dory right? And yet it doesn’t quite feel that way. It’s a […]

The hidden message behind loneliness and depression

I’m sitting at my desk, laptop infront of me. To my left, my work phone; to my right my personal phone. In my browser window behind, my social networks spew their messages out. And here I am contemplating loneliness. There are times, in what seems to be an increasingly ‘connected’ world where life can feel […]

F*** it, f*** everything and everyone – managing your anger

    Andy* is boiling over with rage. His colleagues are metaphorically ducking for cover again as he starts to build up a head of steam. His voice raises in tone and volume. His face changes to a deeper red. His body seems rigid. It’s a powerful and rather scary sight to behold. The thing […]

The secret highly driven people don’t want you to know

The brave face, the disarming smile. On paper Ellie* has a lot going for her. She’s the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with. People gravitate to her and have done throughout her life.  She describes herself as driven, in all she does. Work has gone well. She studied hard at school and […]

3 reasons why you find it hard to trust and you feel so anxious

‘She’s bound to let me down’ ‘He doesn’t really like me’ ‘She’s only saying that because she feels sorry for me’ ‘That’s not what he’s really thinking about me.’ Do you ever have any of these narratives go on in your head? It’s a bit like watching TV. On screen the people are saying one […]

The one thing I wish I could do more of

I was walking to work this week and two adults on bikes swerved passed me on the pavement narrowly missing me. Not anything unusual in that. I see it happening all the time. But I noticed my chest tightening, my breathing become shallower. In my mind, all sorts of thoughts were popping up, most of […]

The truth about being in control

Sometimes the world feels a scary place. And I’m not talking just about floods, famine, wars, random acts of violence.  Even the day to day can feel overwhelming and anxiety making. Do you find yourself worrying what might happen when your family gets together,and who might say what to whom? Or your colleagues want to […]

Tricky brother or sister relationship? 9 roles you might be playing

‘We’re not that close. Sometimes I wonder if she’s even my sister.’ ‘He’s like my best friend. I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life all the time.’ If you are a sibling, maybe you resonate with this first view having a tricky relationship or a distant one with a sibling. Or perhaps you’re […]