Feeling empty inside? Here’s what to do

As the day ends, you start to notice a gnawing inside. The busy-ness of chores, work or meetings ebbs away to be replaced by a growing sense of dread. Who are you when you’re not busy? Whether alone or with family or friends, you feel like you are going through the motions. It’s difficult to […]

Getting to know your true self

As life moves on, do you find yourself staying the same or have things evolved in your outlook, your values, your connection with the world? In his 20s, Gary was all about having a good time, discovering his limits, being part of the gang. But as he moved in to his 30s, he started to […]

On shame and its antidote

As the world around continues its unstable lurching from one crisis to another, with acts of violence, despair and splitting, I’ve been thinking about the role of the shame in all this. Anyone watching the Brexit debates in the UK and the fall out from the vote, or the 2016 US Presidential contest will have […]

4 reasons why you won’t speak your mind

    You’re getting on the bus and the person behind you is talking loudly on their phone. It’s not just talk though. The language is foul, aggressive, abusive. You look round briefly. Inside there’s a conversation going on, do you say anything, do you keep quiet, do you look to others to intervene or […]

Will people still like me if I change?

You’re at a crossroads. One way brings greater freedom, inner peace, more fulfilment. But at a price. You may need to assert your needs, say no more often, disappoint others to be more of who you can be. The other way keeps things calm, steers away from conflict. But also at a price. By keeping […]

Is this the hardest thing you could ever do?

A man staggers out of the shop holding more than his arms can cope with. He moves towards his car and stumbles; a cascade of vegetable tumbles on to the ground and rolls away. ‘You stupid idiot’, he mutters to himself. A mother carries her screaming child out of the coffee shop. 10 minutes later […]

7 questions to ask if you can’t make time for yourself

Is this the refrain of our age? Not enough time. Too much to do. So many commitments and responsibilities. It can seem an impossible conundrum as your life moves on. You have family ties and friendships to maintain, work and or personal interests, households to run. How can it ever be possible to fit it […]

Anger troubles? 10 things you absolutely must know

Think of anger, and you probably think of it as something bad. Anger gets a bad press a lot of the time. At its worst, it can be a vehicle for aggression or violence. It can cause pain and fear in others. So it’s not surprising that you might think of it as a negative emotion. Culturally, you […]

When grief won’t go away: 5 steps to start healing cumulative losses

On the surface, Lianne* feels she should be satisfied with her life. She has many of the things she thought she aspired to: a warm supportive circle of friends, a loving partner, a new job which keeps her stimulated and rewarded. But all isn’t well. She finds herself getting angry at small things, lacking motivation […]

7 reasons you avoid confrontation

There they go again. Criticising this, undermining that, taking knocks out of who you are and what you try and do every day to support them. It’s so hard to take when you can see so clearly what you bring to your relationships and friendships but others don’t. It can feel like give give give, […]