When the world feels unsafe

Ever have that feeling, that whatever you do with other people, you’re bound to be let down in the end? Or do you often think it’s easier to get things done yourself, rather than be disappointed or frustrated by someone else’s endeavours? Life can feel lonely or heavy when you it’s hard to trust that […]

Managing passive aggression: how to defeat the Incredible Sulk

When Debra goes silent, a chill fills the room. Anya isn’t sure if she’s done something wrong, but she has a deep feeling of guilt and uneasiness. She’s scrabbles around, second guessing, wondering what’s up. ‘Nothing’, says Debra, I’’m fine.’ She sends out a great big sigh as she says this, leaving Anya in no […]

The power of stillness: 4 questions to ask when you’re busy all the time

There’s always something to do, isn’t there? Friends to see, chores to complete, family time or work, life admin. It can sometimes feel like there is no time in life for anything other than existing. Or maybe life feels very full, in a good way, as if your running from one pleasant thing to another […]

When depression won’t go away

These may be your darkest days. When it feels like there is no reason to get out of bed, no point in getting dressed, no purpose in speaking to or being with anyone else. Life feels heavy. Your appetite might have gone. Or gone into overdrive. Your sleep may be broken or you might find […]

Why does my relationship keep getting stuck?

You feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall. You’ve had this same argument countless times but nothing shifts. Things get said, by both of you. Things you only half mean but which really hurt. How do you ever get out of this place? There seems to be only two options: stick through […]

The deepest question you will ever ask yourself

When the noise in your life dies down for a moment, or something happens which rocks you to your foundations, you might get in touch with a very deep question. Who am I really? Going there can be a terrifying or life-changing experience. Sometimes, it takes the loss of a loved one, or losing a […]

Impatient for change? The surprising reason why you might be staying the same

You finally decide to pick up the phone. It’s one of the hardest calls you’ve ever had to make. Not just because you might find it difficult to speak to the person on the other end, but because you’ve finally admitting to yourself how bad you really feel. The person at the other end picks […]

What to do when you feel you have no choice

‘There’s no point even thinking about it’, says Adam*, ‘it’s not like I have a choice.’ We’ve been talking for half an hour, and the topic that comes up again and again in our sessions is how stuck Adam feels in his relationship. Faced with things staying the same, the only other option, in his […]

The trouble with New Year’s resolutions

  So where do you stand on new year’s resolutions? Is it a ritual you follow assidiously each year or something you try and struggle with? Or is it just something you laugh off as an irrelevance. What I find interesting about resolutions is the idea that something has to change. The assumption with a […]

25 Ways to Survive Christmas (and family occasions)

As Christmas approaches, you may be relishing the prospect of time off and being with your family. But for many people, Christmas and family occasions can evoke dread, anxiety and depression. It’s less ho ho ho and more no no no. For some it’s the feeling of reverting to childhood roles where, whatever your age […]