Gaslighting: 7 powerful ways to overcome it

This was it. The moment when I thought I had finally lost it. Gone mad.  It was such a simple email, in reply to my own stating straightforward needs. But it got right under the skin. In its simple words, it denied my experience, ignored my truth. It wasn’t that the words were hurtful. Maybe someone […]

Overcoming anxiety after narcissistic abuse

You’re in a cold sweat. Anxious thoughts are running through your mind again. You stop to ask yourself: Why am I feeling this way? Anxiety and narcissistic abuse go hand in hand. It’s probably the one thing, alongside depression, that most sends people to get help, whether they know they were raised by a narcissist or not. This video […]

Boundaries: 8 rock solid ways to set them after narcissistic abuse

Your phone beeps. It’s another late night request for help. ‘Can you just pop round tomorrow to sort out the…?’ The doorbell rings. Your parent is at the door unannounced. ‘I found this great new top for you and while I’m here I’ve been wanting to sort out that messy cupboard of yours for a while.’ ‘Your […]

10 reasons you keep attracting narcissists and emotional abusers

It starts off with optimism: This time it will be different.  You won’t get caught out again. A few months pass, and there are some warning signs. The enormous charm that attracted you or the intense attention starts to abate. You get a cold feeling in your stomach which you try to tune out. A few put downs, […]

Self-sabotage: why you just can’t help it (and how to break the cycle)

You’ve been meaning to get earlier nights, but 3 box sets later and it’s 2am again. That healthier eating? Ended with the giant box of Celebrations. Or more extreme. That job you had worked so hard to get? You pull out the day before starting, thinking it’s not really you. That tooth niggle. Not worth looking at. Until […]

After narcissistic abuse: 10 reasons you won’t ask for help

You say to yourself: It’s not that bad. These difficulties you have with mum or dad could be worse. Maybe it’s you, not them. Maybe you’re imagining things. If you’ve experienced parental narcissistic abuse or emotional neglect, it’s really hard to find your internal compass. So what can you do? Well being here is a great start. This post […]

The ultimate no contact guide

If one of your parents is a narcissist and you’ve been reading up on how to deal with it, you may be wondering:‘I hear about no contact all the time. But what is going no contact all about? What are the implications? How can I be sure it will work…?’ Well, you’re all set here. In […]

The definitive guide to parental narcissistic abuse (and recovery)

You may already be thinking, why does your relationship with your parents feel so out? Life might feel overwhelming, confusing and lonely as a consequence. Sometimes, it’s hard to know what you feel or how to shake off the anxiety and second guessing. If you’ve landed here, you might already have an inkling that one of your parents […]

14 signs that you are numbing out

Something flips inside you. It’s like a switch going. The system is going down. You start to numb out. It’s difficult to think clearly. Maybe your hearing goes a bit fuzzy. You feel like you’re here, but also not. The trigger? Maybe a moment of conflict with a parent, colleague or partner. Maybe someone’s behaviour […]

The amazing truth behind overcoming perfectionism

You set yourself high standards. Perfection. The equivalent of the Olympics in your chosen field. Those perfectionism traits? Being the perfect mum, daughter, father, son, colleague. Giving the exceptional presentation. Cooking the most exquisite meal. Choosing the most compelling and thoughtful gift. Anything less would be unthinkable. That drive for perfectionism can be compelling and […]