3 reasons why you find it hard to trust and you feel so anxious

‘She’s bound to let me down’ ‘He doesn’t really like me’ ‘She’s only saying that because she feels sorry for me’ ‘That’s not what he’s really thinking about me.’ Do you ever have any of these narratives go on in your head? It’s a bit like watching TV. On screen the people are saying one […]

The one thing I wish I could do more of

I was walking to work this week and two adults on bikes swerved passed me on the pavement narrowly missing me. Not anything unusual in that. I see it happening all the time. But I noticed my chest tightening, my breathing become shallower. In my mind, all sorts of thoughts were popping up, most of […]

The truth about being in control

Sometimes the world feels a scary place. And I’m not talking just about floods, famine, wars, random acts of violence.  Even the day to day can feel overwhelming and anxiety making. Do you find yourself worrying what might happen when your family gets together,and who might say what to whom? Or your colleagues want to […]

Tricky brother or sister relationship? 9 roles you might be playing

‘We’re not that close. Sometimes I wonder if she’s even my sister.’ ‘He’s like my best friend. I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life all the time.’ If you are a sibling, maybe you resonate with this first view having a tricky relationship or a distant one with a sibling. Or perhaps you’re […]

The problem with saying ‘I’m fine’

You bump into a friend and they ask ‘how are things?’ ‘All good’ you respond.  Never mind that you had an awful morning, a terrible night’s sleep and you are stressed about x and y. There’s this thing, in British culture particularly, of never saying what’s really going on, a bit like talking about the […]

Help! I feel so jealous of my friends’ ‘perfect’ lives

Picture the scene. You’ve just been out for lunch with a group of friends. Yes it was great catching up with your amigos. But funny how it also felt like a bit of a slap in the face. Fran has just had her second promotion in a year and has almost doubled her salary. Jen’s […]

The biggest myth about change and why it scares you

You probably already know, deep down, that something has to change, that you’ve got to a place where things are can’t go on as they are. But at the heart there’s this niggling question, a fear even. If I change, will people still like me? Will those I’m close to still love me? I’ve been […]

The real reason you don’t go to counselling

When you look at yourself, you wonder are you really that broken? Or you think, Counselling? That’s way too self-indulgent. You can sort yourself out. You should be able to get through this (whatever this is) without help. I mean, only people with ‘serious’ problems go to counselling. Anyhow, what would your family think? It’s […]

Are you afraid of falling in love? Here’s why

This one’s a tough one. There’s a voice inside that tells you, you’re not worth it, you keep screwing up, you’re not attractive enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not successful enough (and I can guess that list goes on and on). I know that voice. It is a killer. It kills your self-esteem, it […]