Category Archives for "self-esteem"

Why does my relationship keep getting stuck?

You feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall. You’ve had this same argument countless times but nothing shifts. Things get said, by both of you. Things you only half mean but which really hurt. How do you ever get out of this place? There seems to be only two options: stick through […]

Impatient for change? The surprising reason why you might be staying the same

You finally decide to pick up the phone. It’s one of the hardest calls you’ve ever had to make. Not just because you might find it difficult to speak to the person on the other end, but because you’ve finally admitting to yourself how bad you really feel. The person at the other end picks […]

What to do when you feel you have no choice

‘There’s no point even thinking about it’, says Adam*, ‘it’s not like I have a choice.’ We’ve been talking for half an hour, and the topic that comes up again and again in our sessions is how stuck Adam feels in his relationship. Faced with things staying the same, the only other option, in his […]

Why is it so hard to say no?

You’re just in the middle of cooking dinner. The phone rings. You look down. It’s mum calling. You pick up for the chat even though it isn’t the best time. She knows this is when you usually have dinner, and yet she always seems to call just now. Something gets burnt, another thing doesn’t get […]

5 questions to ask if you feel like running away

There are these moments in life when it all starts to feel too much. Perhaps it’s the continual work demands, stresses and requests that play havoc with your sense of wellbeing. Or maybe your relationship and family life keep going around in circles, the same old arguments, routines. Nothing ever seems to change and you […]

I’m worried if I show my vulnerability, people will take advantage

Celine* is always smiling. It’s a disarming smile, because it says I’m friendly. But it also says don’t get too close. It’s a well practised look which has served her well until now. It keeps the world at bay, using charm and apparent warmth. Ask her friends and colleagues what she’s really about, they might […]

The secret highly driven people don’t want you to know

The brave face, the disarming smile. On paper Ellie* has a lot going for her. She’s the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with. People gravitate to her and have done throughout her life.  She describes herself as driven, in all she does. Work has gone well. She studied hard at school and […]

The truth about being in control

Sometimes the world feels a scary place. And I’m not talking just about floods, famine, wars, random acts of violence.  Even the day to day can feel overwhelming and anxiety making. Do you find yourself worrying what might happen when your family gets together,and who might say what to whom? Or your colleagues want to […]

The problem with saying ‘I’m fine’

You bump into a friend and they ask ‘how are things?’ ‘All good’ you respond.  Never mind that you had an awful morning, a terrible night’s sleep and you are stressed about x and y. There’s this thing, in British culture particularly, of never saying what’s really going on, a bit like talking about the […]

Help! I feel so jealous of my friends’ ‘perfect’ lives

Picture the scene. You’ve just been out for lunch with a group of friends. Yes it was great catching up with your amigos. But funny how it also felt like a bit of a slap in the face. Fran has just had her second promotion in a year and has almost doubled her salary. Jen’s […]